when the ghost is still haunting me.........

bits & bobs

- happy friday thanks to chris in stockholm. i's too overwhelmed after a teeth-grinding month of negotiation. it all paid off in the end and im sure we'll bag a few more!! bring it on boy. o okie i sent out a super cheesy thank you email and surprisingly my boss loved it, haha!

- free make up at xmas do. i worked my magic. i mean money wise. it's good fun and im so happy to know / work with you all! but now i caught a cold...

- home doesnt feel home anymore. gosh it's just 12nm here what do i do with the rest of the day?! i mean i can certainly do some work but there aint that much work.. i needa spread it across 3 wks otherwise i'd be so bored nxt wk. friends r all working and i cant slp all day... it's so crowded and noisy in town im frightened.

- i miss you so so so so so terribly. im looking forward to all the letters. where s the postman? and ys you shocked me last night but at the same time it's happy shock. i duno if i deserve all these. it's something i've never ever thought of before.... i wish you're here next to me. now.

The Horrid Amsterdam Trip

the last for 2010 is finally done! it's such an eventful event, too much drama that i'm completely exhausted. disappointed - yes, but im glad i kept everything under control and my team's helped me so much.

just a quick recap of the chaos -

1. BA cancelled heathrow flight and agent wasnt informed. i rang BA to put us on Gatwick

2. dashed off to catch the train, got stranded for 3hrs. someone farted.

3. S was impressed with my positiveness..

4. got a new boarding pass just in time and we flew to the gate. Yes i can run (if i need to)

5. had a few drinks with J, D, K and K @ radisson blu without any dinner.

6. got woken up by Mark at 6 hving only slept for 4hrs. John was stuck at gatwick. workshop's to be rescheduled. K wasnt happy...

7. you arrived cheering me up. so good to have you there. and thanks for the gloves. they ll have a place in my handbag for the whole winter. :)

8. more chaos. 2 speakers dropped out due to flight disruptions & airport closures. john jumped in to cover 1 session.

9. thanks for picking a super duper lovely restaurant to calm me down. i hope to go back one day.

10. so now you see the stubborn side of me.. hehe

11. got up at 6, more bad news. chairman & pierre couldnt fly (after we put him on 4 diff flights in 2 diff airports). found a new chairman. rearranged everythg. it kicked off and went off well.

12. more delays at the airport. bumped into John. had some really cheeky laughs!

13. more delays, my eyes welled... thanks for comforting me though.

14. BA asked if anyone wanted the xmas souvenir gadget back - S's!

15. another 1.5 hr wait for bags at heathrow. downpoured. dropped J home before me.

16. finally i got home safe and sound at 4.30am....... a 10hr journey with only 40mins on the plane...

i just can't tell you enough how much you've done for me, and how much i appreciate. and how much i wish you're here...

the more i think about it the more i find this ridiculous or myself ridiculous. i can only recall those vivid flashbacks which are not so great. in so many ways they are my ghosts . and this's the reason why i hate birthdays.

Hallelujah

the curtains of noughties will soon be drawn. on a beautiful sunday i watch the clouds move and form, regaining my consiousness from the not too helpful pills, while Jeff Buckley sings for me. everything is so peaceful and i was absorbed in my on reflection. i've truly been a super blessed lucky bird. our lives crossed and paths intertwined. it was an adventure for me, if not us. thank you for everything, for everything we shared and learned.

now i equip myself for another journey. what the future beholds i've not a single clue. i try to enjoy everyday and i know you'll guide me all along, as destiny calls.

how much i wish you could sing with me, laze with me, and just be with me. it wont be long before you bring me warmth again.

i give thanks for always being loved and cared for. <3

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其實真係唔可以改變人0既性格同思想. 幾件事睇到好多唔同0既野.

self appraisal

i now see why you said me and her look alike. or act alike. your guess is always right. perhaps not a guess, but rather you're so good at reading me. i wish you're here to see me fly up high. yet no longer like my fave song - being carefree is a luxury.

i'm lucky that i don't have many strings attached. and this doesn't mean i have a fall-back plan.

aggressive and opportunist, you can call me a bitch at work. that's fine. i try not to part with my morale though. it's this integrity i value. but at home, i just wish to be myself. gosh it sounds i've schizophrenia. or multiple personalities syndrome. o well.

in other words i understand better what i want what i need and what i should hope for - maybe a pair of christian louboutin? or a Preen dress? or... just a cosy home that holds all my fave furniture and lil' decorations with a fire place to keep me going at night...

sounds like this entry is dedicated to myself and you, even though you would never read this. i know you'll know in 2 months' time. i hope you'll see the changes, but i'm still the mini me 5 years ago - who'd scream on the street, bullshit after a drink, and care for your family.

now i really ought to get back to workkkk... while i can't take that comment off my mind - am i really a controller?

p.s. my new fave parfum!! i'll get that! :D

ROAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

piss/ peace off.

bunni is currently branded explosive, hazardous, with severe mood swing.

don't jump on to her nerves!

all i want is peace and sleeeeep. why can't i sleeeeeeeeeep?!?!?!?!?!

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!