Random blabbing

It's been awhile since i wrote. A lot has been going on and it's great to have time for a pause and think.

'You seem quite resilient' - i was told by this gent this morning. I'm not sure if that's true.

at times i'm still like a crying baby seeking comfort, yet on the other hand my ego is so massive i would rather disappear and hibernate, and then there is one more side of me that says be optimistic and i'll find a solution. as it's getting closer to the miserable big day, it might be great to have a little review...

3 biggest achievements

• cheerleading! woohooo
• building a team from scratch - put on a thinking cap and be accountable for shits!
• re-bounced and re-lived my life after a failed relationship - everything is better without you haha

3 biggest set-backs

• my degree, my degree, my degree... lets talk business instead of science!
• failing my team :(
• ruining myself as i wouldn't give up

rahh, eat my alive.

This time the years before...

x'mas display at Selfridges, Nov 2009

Selfridges, Nov 2009

Church, Vienna, 15th Nov 2010

a stroll in Amsterdam after a long working day, browsing my fave furniture shop, 

Nov 2011

  

Japanese art exhibition, Truman Brewery, Nov 2013

a fun day out with MT at Liberty, Nov 2013

Party at Soho, Nov 2013

i poured my heart out, and clicked delete.

as if life's that easy. this little video clip brought a tear - a happy one.

all these seem so yesterday.

the last few years have been a turmoil, with unforgettable moments and painful chapters. through the ups and downs i've tried my hardest, made some decisions, lost my dignity, regained my composure and re-lived my life. the bunni is once again smiling, and truly thankful to everyone who's colored my life.

b, in a funny mellow mood. xox

Saturday Rambles

2.55am.

bunni is up and thinking. roar!

***

inequality - the word that favors lefties?

marx and many others have tried to build a utopia where there's no (or minimal) inequality. despite good intention, this doesnt exist nor achievable given the nature of human beings and competition is necessary. 

i dug out another article written by this gent Danny Dorling, i do agree with the grant scheme of things but feel that he's been manipulating a lot of numbers and stats. a powerful statement. why should we all be focusing on the 1%? What's the variance and distribution for the other 99%? whilst he blames independent schools are sucking money out of parents and not creating enough opportunities for the less fortunates, there're actually scholarships. everyone looks up to the Finns when it comes to schooling, but it's also about their taxation plan etc. all the same for me not having much sympathy for fat people. unless it's genetically-induced, most of them are just lazy bastards who munch on 5-guys and crisps and and booze. thats how they eff up their lives and become a size 20! why should we sponsor them to go on a diet i really have no clue. in the meantime, according to his article here, i completely disagree w london hosting most super rich and all down to the lax tax regime. it's also about government spending and budgets. at the same time, thats how the UK has regained its financial and economic positions by attracting these foreign investors, and creating an influx of new capital to boost our GDP...

***

i wish i had more time to do and see and read more! 

Little People is still one of my fave artists. 

his work always brings me a smile, and reminds me of you. im so pleased we're still good friends and you're here for me whenever and wherever. i've learnt and experienced so much from/with you which i wouldn't have otherwise. =)

Some random thoughts...

1st October - the national day of China, we all gathered by the Chinese Embassy to demand electoral reforms, supporting our fellows in HK. The mass movement has swamped the news across the world which is remarkable. How the unrest will be settled I'm not sure. Obama can indeed leverage this opportunity for his own rating. 

At the same time, I've come to realise we as hong-kongers have always been an orphan and never given a say to decide our fate, at least our generation. We've been wrapped in a cotton wool under the British rule. Some say the Brits have led us down - have they? I don't think so (well, what more can you expect from Nick Clegg?!). We've just never learnt to be self-sufficient and independent. We don't even get classes at school to be patriotic, that's how we frame singing the Chinese anthem as being brainwashing. Nevertheless, over the last few years, there has been a twist and turn. People took to the streets and struck. Without doubts there will be more frequent movements in the coming days until a deal is signed... 

***

so what do you do with a cold and fever? read read read read read and read! few articles on the financial times and economist caught my eyes. banknote printing and urbanisation. hm!

***

Im such a happy and chilled bunni - even with a cold! :D Took my team out to bowling (and a secret celebration that my boss will be away for the next 5 days! huurrrrayyyy!)! It's been an exhausting week... how I managed that brain-wrecking 9am meeting was a mystery! but am glad I met some interesting people through work! 

What's next?

28th September shall never be forgotten amongst HongKongers now. It's been a remarkable chapter in history since 1967 demonstration (and of course this is before my time :P). For the very first time I, together with my friends and families, cried for the hometown. We all united with great spirits to fight till the end.

Don't get me wrong - I don't agree with everything the students are doing. Political reforms and free election in 2017 are still debatable. Staging such protests (without much strategy behind) is also questionable. It's however inexcusable and unnecessary to employ violent suppression to this degree. Why firing pepper spray and tear gas to unarmed protesters? These people aren't riots and there was no traits of burning shops nor cars nor guns... They are only hoping to voice out in the pursuit of freedom of speech and a truly competent leader for Hong Kong - a place we claim our loving home.

I'm intrigued to see how this will develop in the following days, in particular with 1st Oct fast approaching. 

*Do you hear the people sing?*

*** *** ***

On a separate note, maybe I should get back into the habit of writing. It's something I had once enjoyed and now my vocabulary bank account is in deficit.

With leaves yellowing, we can smell winter creeping in. With a white-girl mindset I need to work on my wardrobe and look again, as well as using this transition phase to cleanse my soul and meditate. The last 24 months have gone in a whirlwind with valuable lessons learnt (ahem, not learned!)! 

I've seen myself change and amazed myself on so many occasions. okay now I do speak like a narcissist. It's like a metamorphosis and reborn journey for me without going to Goa to torture my already very flexible limbs (and one of the conclusions is that i should establish my own business and charge these A-class celebs a premium to mend their mental minds). I've regained my funny charm and social life from a miserable abuse, learnt to forgive others but even more so myself, and embarked on more adventures - which's always the objective of my life. and for these, i should thank all my dearests for supporting me and being part of the journey! 

now i shall really get stuck into some boring readings - enough procrastination this morning. ciao for now!

Shout Out for Democracy - Ignorance is NOT a BLISS!

Twenty-five years ago, on a mildly warm summer evening in June, my parents gazed in front of the TV and tears streamed down their faces. The little naive 5-year-old wasn't bothered. She was kicking up a fuss for not being able to watch her fave soap. The screen was black, there were tankers and gun fires. She heard the news anchors, in their saddened voices, muttering something about a massacre in Beijing. That little oblivious girl was me.

Years went by, stories were told and heard. Some academics involved in 6-4 Tiananmen Sq protest are still on exile. During my schooling in Hong Kong, I was taught and raised with the value of democracy. I've always been proud of my little homeland - despite being a tiny dot on the atlas, it shines like a pearl in the Far East. I chose to live in London not because HK is like Syria. To me, it has always been a small town accommodating different voices and cultures, and prides itself on such dynamic vibe.

Yet, I'm outraged to see what is happening today. The pictures look so familiar but strange at the same time. I can't recognise nor associate with any of these. It's still a city which never sleeps, except it's being very restless tonight.

Why the need to suppress with violence? Did we not learn a lesson 25 years ago? I'm even embarrassed not being in town to support and be part of this. Shall we re-define democracy and human rights?

Please don't let history repeat and we don't need a bloodshed HK. Please also be a kind journalist and blogger - I've seen a lot of propaganda which is ominous. I beg you all support this protest with mercy and peace, and I urge the police rethink what sort of orders they're taking/ following.

*I should blog this in Chinese but please excuse my deteriorating writing skills*

如何回到當時　猶如情侶熱戀的那時
記憶可以　幻作一對蝴蝶飛舞在時光深處
荼薇紅過都變枯枝
血肉之軀會沒法保持
唯獨春天可以給記住

舊照

我不算是個極愛拍照的人. 就是記性好. 很多片段, 小事一宗, 也上心頭. 發現舊照其實不多, 但卻勾起不少畫面. 聽著王菲, 看到6 年前的我, 那個笑容, 我還可以嗎? 同一個問題, 3 年前我也問過自己. 或者, 我是太依賴.

合上眼, 闖進思潮, 我還認得那是天真任性的自己嗎? 但我慶幸有過這些. 大概, 我們也不會回到那時.

The Food Paradise - HK!

I haven't forgotten my little throne here - it's just taken me so long to blog maybe i should do this more often this year :)

Twenty-twelve has been such a tough year, except the last month which was a blast! It's been awhile since i was being pampered and spoiled it was like heaven - parents and maid all looked after me and everyday my timetable was just sleep, watch tv, go out & shop, eat and sleep again... special thanks to my dearest mommy and new maid Anna (it's just amazing someone would do my laundry and bed everyday and make me nice meals with table set etc!). jesus now i sound super like a HK kid... i wonder if i'd put on weigh since I've been indulging myself with lots of mouth-watering fooooooood and trying out different restaurantssss :P here're some highlights!

Seafood at Lau Fau Shan (流浮山)

one of the many many seafood dishes - traditional local stir fried razor clams!

This little fishing village has transformed to become the landmark of seafood restaurants in HK where you buy the very fresh, ie swimming!, seafood and the restaurant would cook to your liking.

Omakase sashimi lunch at Tin Hau

there's no way you could get something similar in london considering the freshness, variety and technique of sashimi/ sushi in london! The steamed egg was almost perfect, just that the prawns at the bottom was a bit overcooked. The miso soup was OK-ish with clams. The toro and scallops were heaven - i wish i had sea urchin too.... It's not cheap but def worth it!

                                 
                                     

dinner with mom after shopping at Festival Walks. Very nice soft shell crab tampura!

Dinner with UK boarding girlies at St. Francis Street.

Amazing starter - scallop sashimi with snow crab brown meat!

the highlight of the dinner was the diaphragm of beef! it was very juicy and crunchy!!

Dinner at home - hot pot for winter solstice!

i was a good girl i went to the market with mommy! okay i only stayed in the car to support spiritually... the pic only showed half the table of food unfortunately! we had oysters, eels (both my fave!), fish, prawns, deep fried fish skin (must have for hotpot!), lily and shitaki mushrooms, crabs, clams, pork neck fillet, hand cut beef and many many more... i dont know how my stomach managed to hold all these that evening... and we encored another 2 times during my stay at home :P

Lunch at Pacific Place's Peking Restaurant. 

this is a fairly high-end chinese eatery as it sits at Pacific Place, however! the food was a little bit of a disappointment esp the tea!!!!! 

dinner with mom and aunt and Ana at Hangzhou Restaurant in Wanchai 

special dish - river shrimps infused with 'Dragon well' tea

it was very very light and very very delicious! the shrimp was crunchy and fresh!

this is one of my all-time fave starter! It's hand-chopped wild green with tofu dressed in sesame oil! This wild green has to be hand chopped cos you can then feel the roughness and texture of each bite! it doesnt taste the same if it's done by machine...

okay, jap again... the toro and malin and sea urchin just melt in your mouth!

indeed i had tried a lot of different food toooo... from fusion Thai to German suckling pig, from Vietnamese to home made heartfelt dinnerssss. 

it was just so good to be back and nice to catch up with all my dear buddies! i wish you all a happy 2013 with a lot more enjoyable and unforgettable memories! xxxx

piazolla on sunday eve...

the room is dimmed on this sunday evening and i can feel mr. winter has quietly arrived. wrapped in my throw and night gown, i'm accompanied by piazolla's strings. it matches my mood perfectly. i have my eyes closed for a minute. maybe i have to get used to all these, and stop feeling sorry for myself. maybe it's time to stand up for myself too... yet i'm all too weak. too weak to even compose my already disorientated vision. maybe the question is how to regain composure.. im scared. im scared of myself.

Fifteen years on

I was such a naive girl with massive ego 15 years ago.
I was only 13.
I was happily awaiting my Year 7 final results and the beginning of summer holidays.
I was also deeply saddened by the departure of the last HK Governor and his family, a tear stung my face when the HMY Britannia drifting along the harbor, becoming smaller and smaller until she disappeared gracefully, with pride and honor, into the darkness of Pacific Ocean.

The first of July 1997 marked the historical day in this little fishing village in the South-East. Fifteen years on, I am now a grown-up living in the Motherland. I first thought of writing this in my mother tongue. Strangely enough, it feels more natural to pour out in English. Even stranger is - how Honkers are still regrettably attached to the British reign (I know it sounds uber politically incorrect).

I was lucky to be born in early 80s, able to experience the less turbulent era and enjoy the wealth of cultural freedom and be a little witness of the last few years of HK as a British colony. The little touches have since faded - the coins with Queen's face, the red postboxes, the stamps, the public holiday of Queen's birthday, and the English and colony flags. These are however only the physical features, with a lot subtle replacements that only a local could tell. It may be wrong to express an opinion - having not lived at home for 11 years I do not feel the most appropriate to comment.

'I have relinquished the administration of this government. God Save the Queen. Patten.' The last telegraph sent to Her Majesty at 00:00 HKT1st July 1997, aboard with his family and two little Norfolk terriers, as well as the Prince, drew a line of the British rule for HK. A very beautiful line that would always earn him pride and praise amongst those who had the fortune to taste. A very beautiful line that the city and history will never forget.

立立雜

最近於YOUTUBE 上看了黎小姐 WINIFRED 上年替衛視拍的 <時尚達人>, 她說時裝好聽, 始終她於這行打滾了多年, 可是, 當她自稱文化人, 作家, 資深傳媒人時, 就真的不敢恭維了... 甚至有點笑壞人. 她於節目訪問了不同品牌負責人, 包括McLaren - 她竟然問 '你們這新車用了橙色, 是不是要加強時代感?' ; 跟心齋主理人談, 又問何謂食素, 何是吃齋... 當然, 我不怪她沒見識, 但訪問別人前不是該先做做家課, 免得失禮人前. 再說, 她不斷地拋英文單字, 我想當年能以 3A 入港大COMPARATIVE LIT 都該說得口流利英語嘛.... 說時遲, 那時快, 她以英文作訪問, 立刻露了底.... 結果只惹得人貽笑大方.

又或者,不需太執著? 最近看<飲食男女> 一篇關於挪威的遊食記, 90% 資料都是老作. 那位小記定必覺得外國的月亮特別圓, 他/她只是寫浪漫散文, 但也懇請下回附句 '全屬虛構'...

其實, 可能我太脫節, 跟不上時代步伐...

i am beginning to seriously wonder what i'm doing or what i should be doing?

the random and lively bunni is gone. maybe she should wander in the forest again - there are beautiful exotic mushrooms awaiting her no? and in this forest she knows no one is fighting with/ against her. all she could risk is to pick a poisonous one...
---------------------------------------------

you'll be surprised if there're no surprises. so the room was too small for any audio, and a speaker almost suffered from a heart attack and had to step out yesterday.

this morning when i arrived at 815 i thought it's still early to finish my yoghurt. then came a gentleman with a big smile. he extended his hand and said thomas i'm - my chairman! he was such a nice guy that i owed him a massive favor.  i was so so so impressed that someone so high up could be so down to earth. i've seen a lot of fake people here in this industry. people call themselves an EVP or MD and boss ppl around. when you do get to meet such sincere people you couldn't help looking up to them.

and my rustic norwegian surprised the two who halted abruptly and asked if i'd just spoken norwegian to them :)

呆.

我呆呆的躺在沙發上, 髮根仍有點濕. 沒有焦點的向窗外望, 雨,一絲絲的落下, 輕得如紗如雪, 生怕發出半點聲響擾人甜夢.

也記不起多久沒這樣發夢, 元神出了, 心境平和了許多. 案頭仍有一堆, 卻提不起勁, 這樣的偷閒, 才是奢侈. 每日的奔波營役, 使人忘了如何還原基本.

記起兒時也愛看雨, 在這狹小的空間我創造了無邊無旦的宇宙, 卻只能容下我一人.

在那邊的你又正在做甚麼?

註. 很久沒寫中文, 字忘了怎樣寫, 句子也不通...很吃力..

Happy V's Day

或者　轉折漸太多　遺忘怎擁抱你

或者　擁緊偏已斷氣

情人們一呼一吸相愛到底　結局或同樣

仍想將你我這幕　演得更理想

如能重修好一雙　不要再想　再一刻誰亦要退下場

is it so hard to pull a smile? do i have the strength to fight against all demons..?
:(

is this worth hanging onto? or is it going to vapourise soon?

over and over and over
you could just tell
that maybe everything is wrong

do we really weigh 21g?

do you live for yourself or others?

but who gave you the rights to live?